Wall-Mart Sucks!

If this corporation were a woman she would be a sleazy, lying, thieving, cum-drinking gutter slut! They sell way too much merchandise that is shoddy, unreliable and just pure crap. It appears they only care about their bottom line and not who they screw in the name of profit. Basically they’re just a front for the Chinese commies to hawk all of their worthless garbage to poor and working class Americans. 

I’ve known all of this for a long time but like everyone else I just shrugged it off. I mean it’s Wall-mart after all so if I refuse to buy anything from this “Junk merchant” then I would be limiting myself in the number of places I have to buy cheap crap. At least 40 percent of the time that I purchase something from these greedy bastards however I have to return it for a refund because it immediately breaks or it’s virtually useless.

Over the years I’ve had to return bicycles, hair clippers, stereos, tools, clothing, shoes, small appliances, and a host of other things that were total junk. This hasn’t really been a “major” problem in the past, just a bit of a headache at times. All that changed this morning when I went back into Wall-Mart to get a refund on a mobile phone I purchased two days ago.

For the last couple of years I have been using a cheap-ass, pre-paid, mobile phone that I purchased from the dollar store for thirty bucks. I spend $25 and get 750 anytime minutes that are good for thirty days. I have been really pleased with this service because I don’t use up all of the minutes before the end of the month and I’m able to get a signal most everywhere. So for the price it’s not really a bad deal. The phone I have though is just a bare bones unit that does nothing more than send and receive calls and text messages.

For my internet usage I mostly just take advantage of “hot spots” from places like McDonald’s or the public library. But using free Wi-Fi hotspots for your primary internet access does have its limitations. Last year I bought a mobile broadband card from virgin mobile and it really sucked. Sometimes I could get a signal and sometimes I couldn’t. Sometimes it would be fairly fast and other times it was slower than dial up. It was expensive as hell too so I didn’t want to go that route again. Google the words “Virgin Mobile Sucks” and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

So for the last month or so I’ve been looking at different options that will allow me to have access to the internet whenever I please. This time I thought the best idea would be to go ahead and purchase a smart phone with a built in Wi Fi hotspot and go with the “unlimited everything” plan that most carriers now have. I should have gone with the Net Ten phone because that’s what I now use but they charge $50 for their unlimited everything plan where as “Straight Talk” charges $45 a month. Well being the cheap bastard that I am I went with the latter. Big Mistake!

I spent a hundred bucks on the phone and $45 for the top up card not to mention taxes. I get the thing home and try to set it up. After calling the toll free number provided and dealing with a recording for nearly an hour they say that their service is not available in my zip code! Can you believe this crap? I didn’t buy this at a Wall-Mart a hundred miles from here. I bought this thing from the junk dealer 10 miles down the road!

Anyway I go back into this junk shop and go directly to the phone section. I have to wait around for an hour because no one that works in this department has arrived yet, even though it’s nine o’clock in the morning. Finally some woman that looks like she has Down syndrome shows up. She’s a total idiot, and clearly not playing with a full deck so I tell her to call the manager.

He shows up and I explain the situation to him as calmly and rationally as I can. I show him my receipt and tell him I only live ten miles away but the carrier says I can’t receive service in my location. He seems real suspicious like I’m trying to run some kind of scam on him or something. This is understandable since “ye olde crap shoppe” has people trying to scam them all the time so I just remain polite and continue to plead my case.

Finally after twenty minutes or so he tells the Down syndrome employee to refund my money. She scans the receipt, opens the cash drawer, and hands me back a hundred and nine dollars. I’m thinking WTF! I spent almost a hundred and sixty bucks on the phone and the top up card and I’m only getting back a hundred and nine!

Then it hit me. The “special” employee doesn’t know how to make correct change. She obviously rode the little short bus to school every day and they just gave her this job out of sympathy. I turned to the manager and calmly pointed out that I was not given back the correct amount of money. He told me that it was the correct amount so then I wondered if maybe he didn’t ride the little short bus to school every day.

Speaking a bit slowly, so he wouldn’t miss anything, I told him that the correct amount of money for the phone and top up card would be close to $160. He then tells me that he can only refund the money for the phone and not the card! Now I’m starting to get pissed. I bought the damn phone from this place, in good faith, thinking I would actually be able to use the thing. I can’t use it for anything other than a paper weight, and this douche bag is now telling me that they are keeping nearly fifty bucks of my money! I don’t care what you say, a thief is a thief, and these bastards are clearly thieves.

I try in vein to get this asshole to see things my way but he won’t budge from his position. All sales are final on the top up cards. Even if it doesn’t work in the same area that you bought it in, so what? Wall-Mart will keep your money! After another twenty minutes of trying to get this thief to come off of my money I feel my blood pressure rise and my head feels like it’s about to explode. Finally I tell him to just give me the damn money for the phone and I leave.

All this was a bad move on their part because karma is a bitch. Things happen and merchandise gets damaged. People sometimes tear open a product to see if the hungry dude dinner will actually satisfy a hungry dude, toss it back on the shelf then move on. Accidents happen and things get broke. I know because I’m a pretty accident prone individual. I can be pretty clumsy at times if I’m not careful. If I go to Wall-Mart just once a week over the next twenty years that’s over 1000 times that I need to be careful! Yeah, these bastards screwed up. Their mistake will end up costing them a hundred times more than the amount of money they stole from me. This corporation is now at the top of my shit list and will be forever more!

End of rant